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Healing Self-esteem after a Breakup
filed in Forgiveness on Jun 9, 2009
If you have gone through a breakup of a relationship, your self esteem has likely taken a nose dive. Often a breakup triggers a sense of failure. When you tell yourself, whether out loud or silently, in the background of your mind, that you are a failure, you are wounding your self esteem. You are also reinforcing any guilt and shame that lies deep within.
Sometimes the strategy to get away from this sense of failure, is to jump out of your body to not feel the pain and to keep yourself so busy you don’t hear your negative self-talk. Being busy helps you to stay away from the negative thoughts and the feelings in your body, but does not allow you to heal your self esteem.
Steps to take to heal your self esteem:and inner guilt or shame
Self-Love – Give to yourself, positive message. Self love is the absence of guilt and shame. Tell yourself you have done the best you could do. You are deserving of good. You are worthy of help and support. etc.
Anchor yourself in your body – Listen and embrace all of the feeling with compassion.
List your accomplishments – Make a list of all your accomplishments, strength, and qualities you like about yourself and focus on them. Get your friends to add to the list.
Accept your imperfections – Accept all of your imperfections and know that you are worthy, lovable and enough just as you are. You can be loved with all of your imperfection.
Update your inner child – Remind your inner child that she had negative messages as a child, that she/he internalized, and that she is innocent, pure and a divine child of the universe.
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