Heart Pain From A Relationship Breakup

filed in Finding Soul on Jan 27, 2009

There is no doubt that your heart is hurting if you are in the beginning, middle or end of a relationship.   It is natural to feel the disappointment, regrets, losses and emotional hurt that has taken place during the course of your relationship.  How does this happen?  Many women and men I see following a breakup “shut down and put armor around their heart so that they can get through the ending of the relationship.   Many carry their closed hearts into their next relationship, not knowing that they are numb and unable to feel deep love.  

Let me explain how you close your heart off for protection. Over a long period of time you become numbed out and unable to feel the love from within or able to receive the love that may be around you at this moment. 

Take a moment now to do this test:  

l.  Now make a fist with your hand and tighten it and hold the tension for a few minutes.  Very tightly.

2.Imagine holding your fist tight like this for a half hour, a day, a month, a year.

3. As you fist is closed notice that you are no longer feeling the tightness or the pain from holding it in that position for a few minutes. In fact it is numb. 

4.Now open your fist and feel the fatigue in your hand and fingers, and feel how the circulation and feeling returns as you loosen the grip.

4.This is what happens to your heart when you close down to protect yourself against further hurt, you have to tighten the muscles around the heart.  If you keep your heart closed for a period of time, it becomes natural.  You are not even aware that you are numb and cannot feel anything love or sadness.

5.Now, pause breath into your heart and give yourself the instruction to connect with your heart.   Continue to breath into your whole chest.  Do not force, just breath in a gentle way and observe what you feel.   This is the first step in becoming aware of the pain that may be locked in your heart.  Once you become aware of the tightness you can begin to free the pain by loosening the muscle in your chest and softening around your heart.  

You do not want to carry your wounded pain filled heart into your next relationship.   Becoming aware of your body and your heart pain is the first step in healing.  Do the best you can as you move through this difficult process of separation and loss of a significant relationship.   

It is important to stay connected to your heart.  Beneath the pain lies the strength of divine love that we all have within us. It is what will help you feel close to your own soul and to your spiritual essence.  It  will help you to heal from this present loss or any losses in your life.