Christmas and Your Former Partner
filed in Mind, Body Connection on Dec 23, 2007
Christmas and holidays remind us of our desire to be connected. It brings up our need to be loved and to love. You cannot think about Christmas without thinking about relationships present and past. And during this time you may even be thinking about former partner or spouse.
You may find yourself flashing back to the past as you do your holiday shopping, party attending or Christmas trimming. You may find yourself idealizing this former relationship remembering only the “good times” and forgetting why you are not together. You may even wish for “what use to be”. This focus on the past may keep you out of the present moment, where you may be feeling a little lonely especially if you are not with “someone special”. This is not productive, but it is common as I speak to many men and women who have been through a divorce or breakup.
Here are some helpful tips to help you let go of the past and enjoy your holiday time.
l. Recognize when your mind travels back to an old relationship. Honor the feeling and then let it go.
2. Persist in creating new holiday rituals and traditions, don’t worry about being like everyone else.
3. Plan ahead and let go of wishing for what use to be.
4. Avoid holiday over spending and remember your heart is your most precious gift.
5. Stay in a place of gratefulness for what you have. State one thing daily that you are grateful for. Make that part of your day.