Who Gets The Friends When You Divorce
filed in Grieving Process on Nov 9, 2007
Divorce or a breakup of a significant relationship creates a loss in every area of your life. Children, a home, a savings account, even the family dog are converted to a checklist of custody, property, and asset arrangements requiring negotiation.
But, another loss that many do not talk about is “FRIENDS”. This is not negotiated, it just happens. Whether they are casual or significantly long relationships you may loose some friends in the process of ending a relationship. Friends seem to choose sides, even though it is not necessary. They do not know how to be supportive. They feel they are in the middle and do not know how to handle this, they become judgmental and choose the side of the person they seem to agree with. When this occurs one person experiences a loss and a sense of betrayal.
Many people ask me what to do about this
l. Grieve the loss of your friend – feel your feelings
2. Realize you have no control over their decision. Don’t try to talk them out of their decision.
3. If they cannot be supportive, it probably is better they are not around
4. Do not blame yourself for their departure. Consider that this may be in your highest good.
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