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I Am Not Enough - I Can't Get Enough -
A major complaint I frequently hear about intimate relationship is this theme of “Getting Enough or Being Enough”.
Woman feel they are not going to “GET ENOUGH” and men feel they are not going to “BE ENOUGH”.
Woman are usually over givers and caretakers of their partners, their children and others, but they typically ignore their own needs and do not stop to give to themselves. This creates depletion. Instead of giving to themselves they direct their attention to the man in their life and look to him to fill her up. Woman expect the man in her life to know what to do to make her happy and make her feel like she has ENOUGH. She has been conditioned to believe that if he loved her he should know what to do without her having to tell him.
The man feels he is NOT ENOUGH if the woman in his life is complaining about her needs not getting met (and he is conditioned to believe that he must make her happy).A woman may say this gently or critically, but the message is she is not happy with him. When this is spoken the man may get defensive and attempt to ignore, deny or react negatively. Silently he feels he is not enough of a man to make her happy, but he does not connect to this feeling. And, he does not have the communication tools or the patience to ask her what it is that will make her happy. He is conditioned to believe that he should know without having to ask.
This “NOT ENOUGH” theme is one of the main cause of a failed relationships.
The answer is three fold:
l. Know that your worthiness does not rest on what you get from another or what you give to another, you are enough just as you are.
2. You must nourish your self esteem and give to yourself, self love is one of the most important aspect of well being.
3. Communication is essential. Do not expect anyone to read you mind. And know that you will never get all you needs met from your significant other.
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