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Saying Too Much - Too Soon On A Date
filed in New Beginnings on Apr 14, 2007
A client who has been divorce for only a year, recently went on a date with a man only to be disappointment when he said he did not want to see her again, due to her not being over her ex-husband.
What do I say and what don’t I say on a date she asked? Should I not talk about my life and what is going on and what happened between myself and my ex-husband?
It is important to understand that the grieving process and getting over the “pain” takes time. So often women don’t even realize how much they are expressing the pain when they are on a date. But, it is picked up by others very easily. So a word of advice is to go slow with your personal information. And, do not talk about your ex-husband or ex-partner. Because no doubt if you are not through with the grieving process you will only be expressing the pain and negative parts of your life. And don’t use your date for a sounding board or for venting your frustration about your ex-partner. This is not always received well by others. Save those conversation for your close friends or your therapist’s office.
Stay light on your date and share the good things in your life especially when you first meet. If after months it becomes serious, you can share the deeper parts of your experiences and your emotional pain.
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