Dating - Why Do I Feel So Vulnerable?
filed in New Beginnings on Apr 20, 2007
You are ready to jump into the dating scene because you have done your grief work. But, before, during or after a date you find yourself slipping into a panic of self doubt. What is going on? Why do I feel like a teenager? Why am I scared?
These are normal reactions if you are entereing the dating world after a break-up or divorce. The grief may be over, but your vulnerability and fear of being hurt again will be present until you build back trust in yourself. That takes time, and will occur as you interact with the opposite sex in a dating situation. Keep in mind the following tips:
1)Do not ignor the red flags. Listen to your body and pay attention to what messages it is sending.
2) Learn not to give too much of yourself away to the other like you have done in your previous relationships.
3) Practice setting boundaries and being comfortable with your opinions, needs and desires without feeling embarrassed or fearful.
4) Let go of needing validation and give yourself the validation you need.
Walk slowly but with your integrity intact. This is not about being “perfect”, it is about being comfortable to be yourself.
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