Weekend Lonliness

filed in Self Esteem on Feb 18, 2007

Are you finding it difficult to be alone on the weekends?   Do your emotions go up and down, even though you thought you were completely through with the recovery process? Do you wonder why you feel lonely when children voices sound in every room? Many clients share that the weekends without a date cause them to feel tearful,restless and lonely.

 It is not uncommone for loneliness  to come and go.    You can feel fully alive during the week, in your new life, but hit loneliness and heartache when you approach the weekend.   Why is this?   One of the reasons is your conditioning which sends the message that weekends are date night.  In addition, being alone can stir up your fear of being without a relationship and spending your life as a single person.

So what must happen?  You must change your conditioning, so that you now see your weekends as “fun time”, with or without someone of the opposite sex to share it with. And you must develop a capacity to be alone.  That will take time.   But here are some tips that will help you avoid a dark weekend.

l.  PLAN AHEAD –  If you know the weekends are difficult, plan an event with yourself, children or a friend.  Looking forward to a “fun activity” is important.

2. DO CATCH UP –  Make a list of things you want to get done, whether it is in the house or out of the house and make it a catch up day.

3.  BE PHYSICAL – Engage in some physical activity, walking, riding a bike, going to the gym, swimming, gardening, washing your car.    When we are active and physical, we release endorphines that help us feel better. 

4. GET SPIRITUAL –  Use this time to tune into your spiritual center.   Engage in any activity that is focused on developing inner peace and your higher self.  This can be a retreat alone or with others, reading spiritual literature, meditating, doing yoga, journaling, attending a church or religious activity or just sitting under a tree contemplating the meaning of life.    Chose a way that you are drawn to.  You might even consider gathering together your own spiritual group.

Remind yourself that something very important is going on.   When you are alone, you are face to face with yourself.  It is here where you develop a deeper relationship with yourself and your authentic center.   It is hear where you learn to “fill up your own pail”, so you will never  look to the others to fill you up.