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Beyond Breakups - Embracing A New Beginning

Coping Skills for Surviving Divorce & Separation

filed in Grieving Process on Oct 16, 2006

Divorce or a breakup causes a loss in every area of a person life: identify, family, social, health and finances.    This is the best time to “gather your forces” and give yourself what you need in order to fully heal. 

Healthy Coping Skills

l.  Understand that this is a process.  Recovery will take as long as it takes.  Do not compare yourself  to your partner. 

2.  Take one step and one day at a time. 

3. Be aware of the emotinal stages of grief (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). You will go back and forth within these stages.  

4. Do not abandon yourself.  Be with your feelings.  Write about them.

5. Make a list of your strengths, your good attributes and past accomplishments.

6.Reach out for help.  Seek professional help and friends who can listen in a loving nonjudgemental manner. You need unconditional acceptance.

7. Make only necessary decisions and set small realistic goals.

8. Be patient with yourself and praise yourself for all your efforts.

9.At the end of the day give thanks for the good that is present in your life. 

Comments:

I agree!

Posted by: Steve Leedom on November 7, 2006 11:26 AM

I can't seem to be able to make any important decisions and All I do is hurt people. I have a boy friend and I just can't seem to stay focused. Things are great for a while than All I want to do is be alone!

Posted by: lisa lavallee on February 20, 2007 10:10 AM

I was married 24yrs. with 1 yr of being divorced and i still feel the hurt and pain in my stomach.I cant forget the emotonal and mental abuse i went through the last 3-4 yrs of our marriage. he planned and manipulated our divorce he played mind games with me,he would tell me i was crazy and that i would up stories when ever i would confront him about being with other women.he would come home smelling like sex,he gave me an s.t.d. and had the nerve to say the doctor was wrong about the diagnosis.i would catch him talking sexy to his co workers over the phone and then tell me i was hearing things.this isnt even half of what i have to say about my ex husband.i actually had a break down he put a restraing order on me AND THAT WAS HIS WEAPON AGAINST ME. he knew that was my weakness i was arrested 4 times within 2yrs he would let me go back home till he was tired of me then pick a fight with me till i would lose control then he call police and there i went to jail...very coward of him! this went on for 3-4yrs.i want answers to why he planned this divorce the way he did.he was set out to get rid of me for good.i had a good marriage the first 15-20 yrs,then all of a sudden it turned horrible i was the blame for EVERYTHING,and i mean everything i think this was hIs way of covering up for his cheating and lying.he di ALOT to hurt me enotionaly so why cant i let go its been a year of divoce already and i feel so angry still knowing he got away with so nuchn that he should be punished but im the one who has paid for all of it and its still giong on even though we arent together.he has ruined my social life i hardly have no freinds he turned them all against me with lies.he is the center of attention he wants to be the main man the one who is always right never wrong even when he is. he wants peolple to feel sorry for him so he talks bad about me to everyone I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE I WANT HIM TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE TO HURT ME.he turned my son against me...EVEN OUR SON! MY WHOLE WORLD WAS GONE.ONE DAY I HAD EVERYTHING AND THEN bam,i have nothing.i cry and cry over this how do i let go of this horrible experience theres sooo much more to say but i will leave it at this. pleasse i need advice.thank you.

Posted by: cynthia on November 23, 2009 1:45 AM

I was married 24yrs. with 1 yr of being divorced and i still feel the hurt and pain in my stomach.I cant forget the emotonal and mental abuse i went through the last 3-4 yrs of our marriage. he planned and manipulated our divorce he played mind games with me,he would tell me i was crazy and that i would up stories when ever i would confront him about being with other women.he would come home smelling like sex,he gave me an s.t.d. and had the nerve to say the doctor was wrong about the diagnosis.i would catch him talking sexy to his co workers over the phone and then tell me i was hearing things.this isnt even half of what i have to say about my ex husband.i actually had a break down he put a restraing order on me AND THAT WAS HIS WEAPON AGAINST ME. he knew that was my weakness i was arrested 4 times within 2yrs he would let me go back home till he was tired of me then pick a fight with me till i would lose control then he call police and there i went to jail...very coward of him! this went on for 3-4yrs.i want answers to why he planned this divorce the way he did.he was set out to get rid of me for good.i had a good marriage the first 15-20 yrs,then all of a sudden it turned horrible i was the blame for EVERYTHING,and i mean everything i think this was hIs way of covering up for his cheating and lying.he di ALOT to hurt me enotionaly so why cant i let go its been a year of divoce already and i feel so angry still knowing he got away with so nuchn that he should be punished but im the one who has paid for all of it and its still giong on even though we arent together.he has ruined my social life i hardly have no freinds he turned them all against me with lies.he is the center of attention he wants to be the main man the one who is always right never wrong even when he is. he wants peolple to feel sorry for him so he talks bad about me to everyone I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE I WANT HIM TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE TO HURT ME.he turned my son against me...EVEN OUR SON! MY WHOLE WORLD WAS GONE.ONE DAY I HAD EVERYTHING AND THEN bam,i have nothing.i cry and cry over this how do i let go of this horrible experience theres sooo much more to say but i will leave it at this. pleasse i need advice.thank you.

Posted by: cynthia on November 23, 2009 1:45 AM

Do you acknowledge that this is correct time to get the business loans, which would help you.

Posted by: DeanKathy on April 1, 2010 3:11 PM

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